Lesson #5 - Compliment the Team, Don’t Criticize It

Criticism should never be passed off as good advice. I have been on teams where players sit on the bench with bad attitudes and complain about their team members on the ice who apparently are doing everything wrong. When someone scrutinizes another for the purpose of criticism there is a problem. Furthermore, the team has a problem. Morale will be low and everyone will eventually start looking out for their own interests. 

There are a variety of sources for a critical spirit. Jealousy, anger, pride or sometimes because of someone’s need to hide something. If you are being criticized it is important to realize that hurting people will often “hurt others” until they can find personal resolve. Seldom is somebody simply out to get another. Human nature often leads us to make our issues all about the other person so that we can avoid taking personal inventory and making necessary changes within ourselves. How important within our families, places of employment, and circle of friends to seek to understand ourselves first before we try to help others.  

We all need the corrective “chalk talk”, but beyond those times I think that we all respond and grow the best when we are honoured when we are doing well. I am talking about those times when someone shares a compliment after catching us doing something right.

How different this world would be if we sought to affirm one another. I am not talking about flattery, which is not based on truth and is often spoken with selfish motives. I am talking about encouragement. Encouragement helps a person discover their potential, which in the end may be great or small. To encourage another means to “come alongside another”. Encouragement is seeking to motivate one another to love and productive living. We all need to hear from those around us that “we’ve got what it takes.” This will foster healthy emotions in us and around us.

If you have been critical lately, why not try a different approach?  Remind yourself that you cannot control another person’s life.  You can only take responsibility for your life and actions.  Ask yourself two questions: #1. Am I jealous, angry, or trying to hide something from this person I am critical of? and #2. “What can I do to make their life and situation better?” By asking and answering these two questions you are choosing to act responsibly which is the most honorable way.

If you think of it, anyone can criticize while few have the courage or self worth to speak up and compliment another. You never see pom pom caring cheerleaders in the hockey arena. It must be too cold. I am glad for this, because it has left the responsibility to each member of the team. We can do this and be better people as we do!

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